Nur Halimatuz Sa'adiah.Yaya For Short.
Sixteen.
A Secondary Graduating Student.
I am who I am .
No one can judge me.
Your Respect are my strength.
You treat me well , I'll treat you better.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Dear Diary,
What for having a divorcee if you guys are still together eating and say out the jokes together . I wont forgive mum if there's anything happen to me . Or i get beaten with Hym ! I just hate being treated that way . & if i didnt get my freedom . I wont forgive mum . I rather get out from this house ! Argh ! I hate ! Why cant anyone in this house feel how i feel ! Im so damn hurt right now . Tears are all over my face ! I dont know why must this happen the next 2 months ! Argh ! How i wish there's someone know how i feel ! If he dares to touch me , i make sure that , i wont come back in this house .
Mum being so selffish ! & 2 faces . Stop acting ! Finding fault at children went you had quarrel with you boyf . & trying tuh get Hys attention ! Its not that i wanna be rude to mum ! But , she's been thinking her own world ! I hate ! i hate ! i hate ! i hate ! Can anyone tell me how can i be patient . Im hurting deep down my heart ! :'(
Hurts ,
Yayacintaa
Friday, October 23, 2009
To Dearest SAKINAH STUBBORN ,
Ass me at my this msn - yayaloved_kecikbintang@hotmail.com .
Okkaeys ?
Love ,
Yayacintaa
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Dear Diary,
When a GIRL is quiet , millions of things are running in her mind.
When a GIRL is not arguing , she is thinking deeply.
When a GIRL looks at u with eyes full of questions , she is wondering how
long you will be around.
When a GIRL answers ' I'm fine ' after a few seconds , she is not at all
fine.
When a GIRL stares at you , she is wondering why you are lying.
When a GIRL lays on your chest , she is wishing for you to be hers forever.
When a GIRL wants to see you everyday , she wants to be pampered.
When a GIRL says ' I love you ' , she means it.
When a GIRL says ' I miss you ' , no one in this world can miss you more than that.
Life only comes around once make sure u spend it with the right person ....
Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot.
Who calls you back when you hang up on him.
Who will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead.
Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.
Who holds your hand in front of his friends.
Who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you.
Love ,
Labels: single
Friday, October 16, 2009
Hello My beloved Brother !
How are you abang ? Im fine down here ! Abang , i miss you ! *laughlaugh* Yaya dah terime check abang . Abang , how's your course everything goes fine ? Im so sorry for the late replies . And , this are some of the photo that i took during the Hari Raya Eve . Abang , it gonna be a year less to your arrival ! I just cant wait for you !
Abang , i had hard time here at home . I try my best to understand at home situation but , sometimes i think its so unfair . I have tried my best not to cry , and always stay strong . But abang , i just feel so terrible .
Mama seems to control everything . And i didnt event have time for my friends . And mama keep talking to her , "boyfriend" . Which i really hate alot . The bigger i am now , i realise that both Mama and Papa are the same . With all the 3rd party all over .
Every single day , mama keep talking to that "guy" . And i really hate alot . What i do , is just ignore . Papa will come back late at night , and he will be at room , opening LOUD music . While others are studying . I just feel so alone and sad .
Abang , i did send you , my boyfriend photo . I known him for 4months aready . But mama tak restu , cause he comes from "bad company" . I seriously dont care , as long as he love me for what i am . Eventhough he got tattoo or whatever , he treats me well . But , its hurt though , cause having a boyfriend a not is still the same .
I had hard time with him now abang . If a guy love a girl so much he wont go any club to enjoy himself right ? Now , his dong this to me .. I seriously wanna a break up . I had enough abang . Cause , its really hurting me . While im writing this im crying too . Abang , why must a guy take my love for granted ? I know im still young and can find a better one . But , it hurt so much . I want to have a peaceful realationship . But , having that , it really take time to find . What actually a guy ones ? Advise is needed . I begged . Cause , i wanna get rid of this "matrep" realtionship . I want a proper guy that can give me a living in the future . That can give me happiness in the end and not saddness .
I also like spending time with my friends rather than boyfriend . Seriously abang i js cant wait for your friend to be out next month . Do ask hym to contact me . (: in case you dont have my number , --------- . He single ? *laughlaugh* Hopefully . I feel so saved if there's someone taking care of me outside . I js cant wait for you to be out , and you will take care of me as well ! I love you !
Oh yarh , my boyfriend now NS . He help his brother at Caltex Car wash . One of their friends know you . Terperanjat jugak . *laughlaugh* My boyfriend/friends want to visit you . Is it possible ? Do update me okkaeys ?
Abang , i really miss you alot . Totally i miss you ! i cant wait to visit you again !
Anw, abang hantar surat pat kak zilla ehk ? I will pass it to her a.s.a.p okkaeys ?
Abang , now i finished my n level , i aready start working with mama . Will be spending time working . So , hopefully that i can have a great time with mama .
Abang intreseted in KudaKepang ? Just asking . (: Cause currently my free tyme , i spend time playing kudakepang . (: really i had a great time . I'll be opening a new group . Insyaallah it will be opening next year . Pray hard okkaeys ?
Abang , may one day you return to me and teach me a proper meaning of life . I had enough of hurt and being so unfair with mama . With her "boyfriend" . I really need you . I really want to spend time with you .
I promise , i will takee your step as my example . And i will remember all your adivse . Your one and only brother i have .
I miss you so much ! I love you so much ! I need you so much ! I want you so much !
You gave me strength . You gave me hope . All i need is you !
With much love and kisses ,
Your one & only sister ,
Yayacinta`bintang !
How are you abang ? Im fine down here ! Abang , i miss you ! *laughlaugh* Yaya dah terime check abang . Abang , how's your course everything goes fine ? Im so sorry for the late replies . And , this are some of the photo that i took during the Hari Raya Eve . Abang , it gonna be a year less to your arrival ! I just cant wait for you !
Abang , i had hard time here at home . I try my best to understand at home situation but , sometimes i think its so unfair . I have tried my best not to cry , and always stay strong . But abang , i just feel so terrible .
Mama seems to control everything . And i didnt event have time for my friends . And mama keep talking to her , "boyfriend" . Which i really hate alot . The bigger i am now , i realise that both Mama and Papa are the same . With all the 3rd party all over .
Every single day , mama keep talking to that "guy" . And i really hate alot . What i do , is just ignore . Papa will come back late at night , and he will be at room , opening LOUD music . While others are studying . I just feel so alone and sad .
Abang , i did send you , my boyfriend photo . I known him for 4months aready . But mama tak restu , cause he comes from "bad company" . I seriously dont care , as long as he love me for what i am . Eventhough he got tattoo or whatever , he treats me well . But , its hurt though , cause having a boyfriend a not is still the same .
I had hard time with him now abang . If a guy love a girl so much he wont go any club to enjoy himself right ? Now , his dong this to me .. I seriously wanna a break up . I had enough abang . Cause , its really hurting me . While im writing this im crying too . Abang , why must a guy take my love for granted ? I know im still young and can find a better one . But , it hurt so much . I want to have a peaceful realationship . But , having that , it really take time to find . What actually a guy ones ? Advise is needed . I begged . Cause , i wanna get rid of this "matrep" realtionship . I want a proper guy that can give me a living in the future . That can give me happiness in the end and not saddness .
I also like spending time with my friends rather than boyfriend . Seriously abang i js cant wait for your friend to be out next month . Do ask hym to contact me . (: in case you dont have my number , --------- . He single ? *laughlaugh* Hopefully . I feel so saved if there's someone taking care of me outside . I js cant wait for you to be out , and you will take care of me as well ! I love you !
Oh yarh , my boyfriend now NS . He help his brother at Caltex Car wash . One of their friends know you . Terperanjat jugak . *laughlaugh* My boyfriend/friends want to visit you . Is it possible ? Do update me okkaeys ?
Abang , i really miss you alot . Totally i miss you ! i cant wait to visit you again !
Anw, abang hantar surat pat kak zilla ehk ? I will pass it to her a.s.a.p okkaeys ?
Abang , now i finished my n level , i aready start working with mama . Will be spending time working . So , hopefully that i can have a great time with mama .
Abang intreseted in KudaKepang ? Just asking . (: Cause currently my free tyme , i spend time playing kudakepang . (: really i had a great time . I'll be opening a new group . Insyaallah it will be opening next year . Pray hard okkaeys ?
Abang , may one day you return to me and teach me a proper meaning of life . I had enough of hurt and being so unfair with mama . With her "boyfriend" . I really need you . I really want to spend time with you .
I promise , i will takee your step as my example . And i will remember all your adivse . Your one and only brother i have .
I miss you so much ! I love you so much ! I need you so much ! I want you so much !
You gave me strength . You gave me hope . All i need is you !
With much love and kisses ,
Your one & only sister ,
Yayacinta`bintang !
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Happy Anniversary Sayang . Hys Present . *onmyhand*. One Love .Dear Diary ,
I had a great time today morning . Whith so much laughter , tears , jokes and much more . I'll share what happen .
Lastnight , 12am sharp i send my anniversary msg to Sayang . It was short . Cause i was talking on the phone with my friend . Then , he did replied long text . Its sweet .
" Hapy 4mth anniversary syg.. hope we can share all the sadness and happiness together syq... I have nothing to give u.. only love care and concer that i can give u . and ...... "
I was so touch by him . Thankyou Sayang for the wishes . I went bed early at 2am . And woke up at 10plus . I get washed . And while making up , i text Sayang and eating plus play Saron(will tell later) . Finish make up , i went out , in the train . Called Sayang , didnt answer . 100% sure , he sleeping . Then asked Brother in law , where's Sayang . He say he dont know , cause he just come back from Computer shop . So , went he reached home , i ask Brother in law to wake hym up . And fetch me .
Reached Lavender , wait for Sayang , then suddenly he apperred without i notice he kiss my cheeck . Shocked ! Lucky was him , kalo larh manusia laen yang cium . Adui ! Orang tuh darh kene maki siang siang . Haha ! Then went somewhere . Personal . Then , went Bugis meet Brother in law . We went Bugis by Cab , Brother in law walk to Bugis . I was , "tak penat ker ? jalan kaki ?" If were me , im so damn tired . While wating for Brother in law , I and Sayang walk at Bugis Street . He buy earing that he craving since last few weeks and one small ball for his stud under his lips . Bought phone casing . Meet Brother in law outside, " i love sex toys " . He bought the New LG phone . But , 2nd hand . Touch screen . Sayang aslo LG( its mine , btw ) . Then he bought stud for his lips . Then Sayang hungry . Sayang ate . I and Brother in law Drink Water only . Loads of craps and laughter . I cant stoping laughing cause Sayang & Brother in Law talk craps .
After eating , walk pass durian Shop . YumpYump ! Abang treat us Durian . Sedap ! Haha ! I was eating with Sayang then suddenly he hilang . He went to a shop infrount of us where we are sitting . I talk talk with Brother in law . take photo . then suddenly Sayang went out from the shop , take rapping paper , i was , " huh ? " Who's birthday ? then , he went in , few min went out , he called Brother in law . Brother in law return to sit , i ask , "Kecik belik aperh abg ?" he replied , "tatawuq". I was like , tatawuq ker taknak bilang ? Curious ! Then suddenly , he came , with this present , on his hand ,
Sayang : Happy Anniversary Sayang ! (Giving the present)
Me : Huh ? Aperh nie ? (shocked!)
Sayang : Aperh yang huh ? Kan Anniversary kiter .
Brother in law : Buat tatawuq pulak yaya .
Me : (paise) . Thankyou ! (Kiss him)
Sweet . I seriously dont expect anything from you . Cause i know your situation . & i dont event think of you giving any gift , cause i thought this could be a simple celebration . I was so damn shocked by your gift ! Thankyou Sayang ! Appreciate much .
After that went home . On the home SnapSnap some photos from Brother in Law LG phone . Btother in law disturbe this Indian guy while walking.
Brother in law : Excuse me , she ( pointing at me ) preety anot ?
Indian man : Preety !
Brother in law : She preety right ?
Indian man : Preety !
Sayang : Thankyou ! Thankyou ! My wife !
Me : ( laughing sampai caket perot )
Indian man : Your wife ?
Sayang : Yarh whye my wife larh . ( walkoff )
Me : B , Malu nyer !
Sayang: uat aperh nak malu .
Me : ( still laughing )
Then reached home , talk to mama and baba . They preparing for Saturday Performances . And chilled out there one whole day . Till at night something happen . Mama and Syang quarrel , sad . Till i was affacted cause went Mama and Baba talking about Sayang . Sayang not happy . & he he went outside , then i say , " darh larh b . " he replies , " eu diam ! " Haish . i was a bit hurt by hys words by i did understand him in the same time . Understanding his situation , and knowing that hys hot tempered . He get changed to his army clothes , he say hys going Caltex lepak with Brother in law . So , he waited for me till we get a cab .
Totally silence . No talking . My tears stars to fall , cause it really sad that our anniversary was nive in the day but not at night . He didnt realise till , he caught my eyes , asking why , and i said nothing . and he kissed my forehead , which i hugg him tightly .
Have one cab , on the way , i read this Book that Brother in law borrowed me . Hys realationship with hys ex ghurlfriend , Yuyun . That time i was with Zul , went he was having that realtionship . Lots of story i read . Sweet . Romance . Hurt . Aload . Now , both of them have seperated . Really sad . they were the best couples .
Reached home , I open the present that Sayang gave me . To my suprised it was a LOVE perfume . Thankyou Sayang ! I get washed up , Mama using my laptop , so i watch tv while waiting for her . Wents she done , i edit the pictures that i took , its all at my tagged view there for photos . Okkaeys ?
After editing , continue reading Brother in law Love Story Book , and now im blogging .
Special dedication to Sayang ,
Dear Sayang ,
I didnt expext that you will give me something . I was empty handed too . But , i what i want is your love and you care tohwards me , present nothing much to much . But your sincerlty of being with cared . Dear , Happy 4th Month Anniversary . We went true tick & thin together . May we last long , and shared our life time together . You prove me that you change , You proved me that your not like before . You proved me that your serious in this realationsip . Im glad you change . And i have no reasons to leave you all alone animore . I hope this will remain as it be forever . Baybe , your romance are my strength , your love make me strong , your looks make me preety . No matter what , you are always mine ! Smiles ! Will be waiting for our upcoming months Sayang .
Love ,
Yayacintaa
Tagged reply , too kynn . Yupp its about Nana . About the sondol thing . Anw , its all over i have taken what mama bought for me and Lia . So , i have nothing to do with you guys animore . Let me say out loud , there's NO ONE wanna potong aidil burung ! So , if you see the comment in tagged , about the airport thing , its Apit , who say that . But who wrote that in Kecik's Tagged photocomment , behing Apit photo , IDK ! But since , you guys wanna know so much, and thought my side wanted to potong hym . You guys are WRONG ! there's NO ONE wanna touch any of you ! Its Singapore , everyone dares to say , but doesnt dares to do . Until the say infrount of us . Then the dares . Humans are Humans . Be logic ? Think wide . People come in good manner , treated them good . Not he other way wrong . Its over , i dont wanna say much anymore . Im done & over about it . So long and all the best people .
p.s : im not here to hurt anyone feelings . If i did , i apologised . Thankyou !
Tomorrow , i'll be waiting for Kia Feichi People to come , cause they wanna do recording video ! I'll be waiting for you , people ! 5 songs to record will be uploaded at Youtube , onces its ready . I got to go now . Tired cause im out one whole day .
Love,
Yayacintaa
Monday, October 12, 2009
Im finding people that intrested in KudaKepang . Anyone interested ? Tagged me NOW ~ !
Dear Diary ,
Lately , i been so sad for the past few daeys/hours and whatever is it . I been so strong to face the consequences . Hopefully , i will take back everything . Tak semestinye orang cakap besar akan jatoh , you have to be prepared for the worst that will over come your life . And be prepared , cause i'll be fighting for my right .
Let the future do the talking . Well , tomorrow . i proudly survive 4 Months with Sayang . Going out with him after his camp . And i miss hym alot !
Dear Sayang ,
We been through thick and thin together . Till parents have agreed with us . & im sure , you been so faithful to me since the day we petch back . And now , you changed aload . May this will remain , and will never fade . I'm sorry if i did hurt you all this while , but seriously , i dont mean too ! So , may our monthsary will always be memorable . And , i love you so much ! You been so patient with my attitude , and alwaeys giving the love , i love you more each day sweet . The day we know each other will never be forgotten . Too much , i love you !
Lovee ,
Yayacintaa <3
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Dear Diary ,
I am so dissappointed with what happen yesterday . Totally . There's no manners and respect at all .. What have i done wrong ? Aytes , let straight to the point . I had enough of everything . I been kept silence all this while .
Yesterday , i went Sri Cempaka Puteh performance . Seriously , i come there to watch not to do anything STUPID or , finding faults . I went out of cab , dfind place to sit . And see them performan . (insertname) , suddenly wanted me to come to her and i thought she mean GOOD ! but , i think ada disebalik nyer . So , i decided to go . Then something happen . I was shocked . And also unbelieveable .
After everything , i ask cikdean ,
Me ; Cikdean kenape , mummie pakai , Kapor nan Kicap . Biler balikkan yaya ?
Cikdean ; Mummie kuar kan barang yaya . Bab tuh tady cikdean tak tengok .
Me ; Huh ? ( darh start kuar airmata) walkoff .
Towards to mama .
Me ; Mama , balik . (crying)
Mama ; Asal ?
Me ; Mummie darh kuarkan barang akak . (crying) Walkoff .
Then something happen under block . Cikedean came . I cry non stop . For good sake . I was v v v v v v v v v dissappointed . Totally . Who was there yesterday , i didnt expect that to happen , seriously ! Time to go home , there's this guy stop my cab . I was lyke huh ? Mummie suroh . Saying i Pipit & Erul nak potong orang .
ehk , kiter semua saturh family datang , bukan nak buat kecoh . Kiter semua datang dengan niat baik . Tapi aperg motive korang semua ?
Im still dissappointed still now .
Love,
Yayacinta <3